I'm awake early today. This will be my 16th day of radiation, 2nd of chemo. I know that the best part of my treatment is over and that things are going to get harder from here. I feel like I'm writing one of those letters that soldiers send their girl friends the night before a battle.
Today won't be hard, particularly, nor will tomorrow. Mostly I'll just be taking in fluids and peeing them back out. The old toxic waffle face shtick. After that, I'm in uncharted territory for me. The sore throat seems to be spreading. We'll be increasing the proportion of meals that I take through the tube, now. The docs have got me so worried about losing weight that it kind of makes it harder to eat, if that makes sense. Oh, of course it doesn't make sense. But my throat is becoming a very difficult passage to use for taking in nutrition and medicine. I can still take pills one at a time, but it is painful.
I'll see the whole team today. Medical oncologist, nurse oncologist, chemo infusion team, radiation oncologist, RAD techs. Sounds like a full agenda, but then, there's lots of time to kill. Two litres of fluid, a bag of poison, then two more bags of fluid. A trip to the radiation table worked in there. About six hours all together. All aiming to kill everything in my body except me. Three thousand years of medical science and that's still our best answer. Go figure.
The hard part about seeing all these docs at once is keeping all the lists straight. Lists of meds. Lists of side effects. New symptoms and complaints. Everybody's names. Jokes for the nurses. It is a sizable database. Fortunately, Mrs P is the better part of my brain and helps me keep my arms around the facts.
This weekend we walked around the stage at the arboretum where Lexington's summer theatre festival will play in a week. My heart ached to be up there with them. I so regret the hours I have spent away from the stage, not doing what I know I was created to do. When I'm back on my feet, I swear I won't make that mistake again. I'll be playing on some stage somewhere before another year has passed. Nothing else makes sense. Meantime, I can't wait to see the people I've loved and worked with sink their teeth into The Merchant of Venice, Pride and Prejudice, and RENT in the coming weeks. I hope I can drag my big green plastic Adirondack chair out to the hill to see every one of them.
Time to get ready for battle. Bath. Pills. Breakfast. Funny hat. All systems go.
The Long Road... #2014reboot
Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods
mrs p Cancer running lifting weights LIVESTRONG at the YMCA treadmill weight nutrition depression God Living Strong at the Y injury YMCA dogs mom walking radiation Weight Lifting cardio friends program theatre body fat long slow run love One for the Five aches elliptical race resistance bands stretching 5K Acting Jeff Galloway chemo doctor family mental health Church Pittsburgh Marathon bluegrass fundraising inspiration patience personal trainer recovery Flying Pig Marathon Jesus Johns Striders Race Report Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon bipolar frustration kentucky knees measurements morning promatx yoga Christmas Marathon Pennsy's Greatest Hits cats clothes heart rate hope lance armstrong life molly poetry rest side effects steelers swimming 10K Actors' Guild of Lexington Blog CT Scan Coach Carrie PET Scan cross training exercise fear feeling good groin healing ice cream livestrong nausea powerlifting run/walk/run stair climber surgery Cancer Fighter Cold Gear Hills Iron Horse Half-marathon Job LSR Mum Nike+ Shamrock Shuffle 3K achilles advent arboretum bmi bodyweight exercises changes charity circuit training cycling dad deadlift diabetes encouragement experts give up goals horses interval training jake kettlebells lean body mass new rules of lifting pacing personal best plateau prayer recumbent bike research shoes sleep strength teeth therapist toe video Blood Easter Endurance Funeral Garmin 405 Homecoming House Insurance Juicing Keeneland Legacy Night PR Pennsyltucky Pittsburgh Relapse Run This Town TRX Training Values aflac arnold ben-gay bench press chafing christian compression shorts dentist dreams faith fat fatigue foreclosure good day half marathon hospitality javarunner john's run/walk shop lou schuler new year nurse pains peg tube powercage progressive resistance. racing rain rapture reboot runners world squat sun block supplements team pennsy tired weather will rogers work #3rightThings 9-11 ACSM AIDS Aquaphor Blessings Bluegrass 10K CSN Cancer Boy Cedar Hill Charles Dickens Class of 82 Classes Colby Road College Compassion Courage Crowdrise Cystoscopy Dee Diet EFM Epiphany Fall Fartlek Fat Man Fat Sick and Nearly Dead Frankfort Gadgets Gramma Grampa Gratitude Grete Waitz Guest HITT HIV Hell Holding Hands Holy Saturday Homer Horse Capital Marathon IVP Ice bath Jacuzzi James Taylor Jesus wept Joe Cross John Izzo Joy KY LaDonna Leg Day Lent Lessons Lexington Little Pennsy Mental hospital Midsummer Night's Run Mindfulness MobileFit Negative Splits Old Frankfort Pike Pilates Podrunner Pre-race Priorities RICE Railrunner 10 Miler Random thoughts Resurrection Reunion Run Bob Run Run Report Run Review Run for the Gold 3K Running Form Running for Sabrina STUPID Shakespeare Skip Brown Speed Spinning Summer Of Speed Sunrise Supersets Tao Te Ching Thank You The Wall Three Right Things Toxic Passenger UK UK basketball Urine Urologist Victory Walk of Shame Warrior Westminster Whole Foods Wind Words Zumba ace bandages addicted agony alwyn cosgrove america anger antibiotic anxiety awake back baseball blood clots blood pressure body glide bonhoeffer books brad calories chinup colonoscopy consistency crazy cycles dentures dip dr. google dumbbells elevation facebook failure farts feet fight for life fitness forgiveness frankenpennsy fun getting started glucosamine glutes goal gremlin grenz grumpy hair hamstrings hiccups high school hot ice incarnation indian food jogging john lennon joint legacy trail liniment lunges machines maker's mark mapmyrun.com medicine ball meds mercy motivation motley fool music nature neighborhood new balance nike noah numbers pennsyltuckian periodization persistence phlebitis postmodern prison professional boundaries progress psychiatrist pullups pushups quads ramble rememberance renewal road running ronnie coleman rowing safety sauna scan-ziety sexy shopping shorts shower sick sleepless snow socks spandex star trek statistics steam room steroids stiff strained muscle strap strength training supination support surgeon survive swackett swiss balls table technology tempo terry bradshaw testicular torsion text thai food that's fit the five thighs walk breaks warm up water fitness water jogging weak wedding ring wellness wife winter workout writing yardwork