Today we had a brief bout of barfing, followed by a long rest. Our friend V came to visit. He is a lovely man, an author and teacher who moved to New York many years ago with his sweetheart. We met here in Kentucky. The visit was pleasant. A chance to tell the story again. The shave. The lump. The surgery. He told us of his adventures educating the children of the well to do on the Upper East Side. We laughed hard and loved deeply. I started feeling kind of puny after a while, and excused myself. V and Mrs P visited a while longer while I napped, then he went back to his brother's house.
In my dream, I was in a hotel room, working busily on a computer of some kind. I say of some kind because the thing was obviously an amenity of the hotel. It was shrouded in a steel box with flimsy cables poking out the back. It was actually a pretty amazing piece of anti-theft equipment. As I worked, I noticed that my own computer, (one I have never owned, by the way,) was sitting next to the room computer. I thought I could disconnect the monitor from the hotel's CPU, connect it to mine, and have two monitors. This is a particular fetish of mine and a luxury I have loved on the few occasions it has been possible. I was on my belly, puzzling over how to disconnect the shrouded cable connections when I started shivering.
I was awake with a start. The dream was over. I was in my running shorts and a tee shirt and I was freezing. It was 85 degrees outside, couldn't have been less than 78 in my room. I was in agony. I jumped under the sheet and called for Mrs P desperately. Alarmed, she started piling blankets on top of me. On when Mum's crazy crocheted hat. More blankets. Finally, I begged her to turn off the air and open the windows of our bedroom. That did the trick. The hot summer air rushed over my face, though my arms and legs were still chilled under the covers. She prepared a tube feeding for me and gently squeezed me full of vanilla calories. When I felt up to it, I made my way to the back porch and sat in the shade for a while, soaking up the heat as fast as God could dish it out. The Lord taketh away and the Lord giveth. Blessed be the name, I guess.
Finally, I decided to go for a walk in the sun. Mrs P bought me an enormous straw hat at the store today and I pulled on my blue jeans, donned by plantation owner's chapeau, and took my afternoon constitutional around the long block on which our house sits.
This is farther than I've walked before by more than twice. By a strange accident of city planning, our subdivision sits in a sort of pie shaped plot between three major roads. Our block is on the point of that pie piece, and I walked the whole thing. I don't know how long it took me, but by the time I got home, I was soaked with sweat. I shut the windows, turned on the air, and flopped back down on top of the covers so as not to soak my sheets. The chill had passed.
It is a strange feeling when your body runs away from you like that. Not helpless, exactly. More like puzzled. Where in the world did this come from? It is the second time I've experienced it, and it always follows one of those retching trips to the bathroom.
After I recovered, I sort of stared off out the window, bewildered. The phone rang and it was Dee, my oncology nurse. She calls every now and then, just to see how I'm doing. I can't tell you how much comfort I draw from these calls. I told her about my spell and she seemed unperturbed by it. This made me feel a lot better. I would hate it if I described anything to her that took her by surprise. Much better to have normal reactions in this most abnormal of circumstances.
Mom called. She had read my last post, shaking my fist at God. I expected her to be wondering if I had been struck by lightening or lost my mind. Instead she was deeply concerned to learn what the doctor had said about Mo's trip to the vet. Mrs P filled her in on the details. I was grateful for the chance not to be the center of the universe for a while.
peace,
pennsy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Label Cloud
mrs p
Cancer
running
lifting weights
LIVESTRONG at the YMCA
treadmill
weight
nutrition
depression
God
Living Strong at the Y
injury
YMCA
dogs
mom
walking
radiation
Weight Lifting
cardio
friends
program
theatre
body fat
long slow run
love
One for the Five
aches
elliptical
race
resistance bands
stretching
5K
Acting
Jeff Galloway
chemo
doctor
family
mental health
Church
Pittsburgh Marathon
bluegrass
fundraising
inspiration
patience
personal trainer
recovery
Flying Pig Marathon
Jesus
Johns Striders
Race Report
Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon
bipolar
frustration
kentucky
knees
measurements
morning
promatx
yoga
Christmas
Marathon
Pennsy's Greatest Hits
cats
clothes
heart rate
hope
lance armstrong
life
molly
poetry
rest
side effects
steelers
swimming
10K
Actors' Guild of Lexington
Blog
CT Scan
Coach Carrie
PET Scan
cross training
exercise
fear
feeling good
groin
healing
ice cream
livestrong
nausea
powerlifting
run/walk/run
stair climber
surgery
Cancer Fighter
Cold
Gear
Hills
Iron Horse Half-marathon
Job
LSR
Mum
Nike+
Shamrock Shuffle 3K
achilles
advent
arboretum
bmi
bodyweight exercises
changes
charity
circuit training
cycling
dad
deadlift
diabetes
encouragement
experts
give up
goals
horses
interval training
jake
kettlebells
lean body mass
new rules of lifting
pacing
personal best
plateau
prayer
recumbent bike
research
shoes
sleep
strength
teeth
therapist
toe
video
Blood
Easter
Endurance
Funeral
Garmin 405
Homecoming
House
Insurance
Juicing
Keeneland
Legacy
Night
PR
Pennsyltucky
Pittsburgh
Relapse
Run This Town
TRX
Training
Values
aflac
arnold
ben-gay
bench press
chafing
christian
compression shorts
dentist
dreams
faith
fat
fatigue
foreclosure
good day
half marathon
hospitality
javarunner
john's run/walk shop
lou schuler
new year
nurse
pains
peg tube
powercage
progressive resistance.
racing
rain
rapture
reboot
runners world
squat
sun block
supplements
team pennsy
tired
weather
will rogers
work
#3rightThings
9-11
ACSM
AIDS
Aquaphor
Blessings
Bluegrass 10K
CSN
Cancer Boy
Cedar Hill
Charles Dickens
Class of 82
Classes
Colby Road
College
Compassion
Courage
Crowdrise
Cystoscopy
Dee
Diet
EFM
Epiphany
Fall
Fartlek
Fat Man
Fat Sick and Nearly Dead
Frankfort
Gadgets
Gramma
Grampa
Gratitude
Grete Waitz
Guest
HITT
HIV
Hell
Holding Hands
Holy Saturday
Homer
Horse Capital Marathon
IVP
Ice bath
Jacuzzi
James Taylor
Jesus wept
Joe Cross
John Izzo
Joy
KY
LaDonna
Leg Day
Lent
Lessons
Lexington
Little Pennsy
Mental hospital
Midsummer Night's Run
Mindfulness
MobileFit
Negative Splits
Old Frankfort Pike
Pilates
Podrunner
Pre-race
Priorities
RICE
Railrunner 10 Miler
Random thoughts
Resurrection
Reunion
Run Bob Run
Run Report
Run Review
Run for the Gold 3K
Running Form
Running for Sabrina
STUPID
Shakespeare
Skip Brown
Speed
Spinning
Summer Of Speed
Sunrise
Supersets
Tao Te Ching
Thank You
The Wall
Three Right Things
Toxic Passenger
UK
UK basketball
Urine
Urologist
Victory
Walk of Shame
Warrior
Westminster
Whole Foods
Wind
Words
Zumba
ace bandages
addicted
agony
alwyn cosgrove
america
anger
antibiotic
anxiety
awake
back
baseball
blood clots
blood pressure
body glide
bonhoeffer
books
brad
calories
chinup
colonoscopy
consistency
crazy
cycles
dentures
dip
dr. google
dumbbells
elevation
facebook
failure
farts
feet
fight for life
fitness
forgiveness
frankenpennsy
fun
getting started
glucosamine
glutes
goal
gremlin
grenz
grumpy
hair
hamstrings
hiccups
high school
hot
ice
incarnation
indian food
jogging
john lennon
joint
legacy trail
liniment
lunges
machines
maker's mark
mapmyrun.com
medicine ball
meds
mercy
motivation
motley fool
music
nature
neighborhood
new balance
nike
noah
numbers
pennsyltuckian
periodization
persistence
phlebitis
postmodern
prison
professional boundaries
progress
psychiatrist
pullups
pushups
quads
ramble
rememberance
renewal
road running
ronnie coleman
rowing
safety
sauna
scan-ziety
sexy
shopping
shorts
shower
sick
sleepless
snow
socks
spandex
star trek
statistics
steam room
steroids
stiff
strained muscle
strap
strength training
supination
support
surgeon
survive
swackett
swiss balls
table
technology
tempo
terry bradshaw
testicular torsion
text
thai food
that's fit
the five
thighs
walk breaks
warm up
water fitness
water jogging
weak
wedding ring
wellness
wife
winter
workout
writing
yardwork
"It is a strange feeling when your body runs away with you like that..."
ReplyDeleteIf you need to talk to someone who can sympathize with that, just find a menopausal woman :)
(Well, minus the whole retching thing.)
In other news, glad not to hear/read you claiming that you deserve this. No one does.
XO
Jennifer, some smart person once said, thank God none of us gets what we deserve. It's the best definition of "grace" that I know...
ReplyDelete