Thursday, September 16, 2010

#263: Intermezzo

Here's a word I learned while watching Cash Cab yesterday. Yes, I am that boring. An intermezzo can be a piece of music between the major movements of a symphony. It can also be a sorbet or wine intended to cleanse the palate between courses of a meal. That's what I'm doing now. Cleansing my palate.

Monday's meeting with the doctor was like the meal I'd been waiting for. It was delicious. I loved celebrating with friends on the phone, on Facebook, and on my blog. But something was missing. I thought that a clear CT scan would mean that it was all over. I expected to wake up the next day and start a new life. Turns out that it doesn't work that way. The threat of cancer is over, but the recovery has barely begun.

Since getting the good news, I've been exhausted. Wiped out. In his book, Lance Armstrong said he spent this period playing golf and eating Mexican food. I won't be playing any golf, but I'm not ready to jump back up on the bike just yet, either. Mrs P keeps telling me that it's going to take time.

This offends my Protestant work ethic. My mind tells me I should be up and around. Doing things. Getting stuff done. My body does not agree. In spite of the Ambien, sleep takes forever to come. When it does, I sleep for hours and hours. When I wake up, I feel like I'm in a fog. Yesterday, I tried on four pairs of shoes. I was sweating like crazy. It took me an hour to recover. 

So what about this intermezzo? What is it going to sound like? It's going to be quiet. I'm afraid it's going to be bland, like a sorbet between the fish and the meat courses. And it's going to take far too long. 

The first thing I did when I got home after the appointment on Monday was to start a "to do" list. They are mostly little tasks. Chores, really. They are important things, but they aren't really goals. Yes, I want to do the things that will get our lives back to normal. Do the dishes. Finish the taxes. Get the car fixed. Fold the laundry. But I want to do some bigger things, too. Direct a play. Run a 5K. Play Shakespeare. Find a smaller house. Get a job acting.

None of these things will be easy, and I can't do any of them on my own. Each will take time, planning, lots of work, and plenty of luck.  But first, I'll need to pick one. And I will. Just as soon as I can get up out of this chair.




  1. Thinking of you every day, still, and hoping you are well, happy, rested, and loving your life.

    Lots and lots of love to you and yours.


Label Cloud

mrs p Cancer running lifting weights LIVESTRONG at the YMCA treadmill weight nutrition depression God Living Strong at the Y injury YMCA dogs mom walking radiation Weight Lifting cardio friends program theatre body fat long slow run love One for the Five aches elliptical race resistance bands stretching 5K Acting Jeff Galloway chemo doctor family mental health Church Pittsburgh Marathon bluegrass fundraising inspiration patience personal trainer recovery Flying Pig Marathon Jesus Johns Striders Race Report Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon bipolar frustration kentucky knees measurements morning promatx yoga Christmas Marathon Pennsy's Greatest Hits cats clothes heart rate hope lance armstrong life molly poetry rest side effects steelers swimming 10K Actors' Guild of Lexington Blog CT Scan Coach Carrie PET Scan cross training exercise fear feeling good groin healing ice cream livestrong nausea powerlifting run/walk/run stair climber surgery Cancer Fighter Cold Gear Hills Iron Horse Half-marathon Job LSR Mum Nike+ Shamrock Shuffle 3K achilles advent arboretum bmi bodyweight exercises changes charity circuit training cycling dad deadlift diabetes encouragement experts give up goals horses interval training jake kettlebells lean body mass new rules of lifting pacing personal best plateau prayer recumbent bike research shoes sleep strength teeth therapist toe video Blood Easter Endurance Funeral Garmin 405 Homecoming House Insurance Juicing Keeneland Legacy Night PR Pennsyltucky Pittsburgh Relapse Run This Town TRX Training Values aflac arnold ben-gay bench press chafing christian compression shorts dentist dreams faith fat fatigue foreclosure good day half marathon hospitality javarunner john's run/walk shop lou schuler new year nurse pains peg tube powercage progressive resistance. racing rain rapture reboot runners world squat sun block supplements team pennsy tired weather will rogers work #3rightThings 9-11 ACSM AIDS Aquaphor Blessings Bluegrass 10K CSN Cancer Boy Cedar Hill Charles Dickens Class of 82 Classes Colby Road College Compassion Courage Crowdrise Cystoscopy Dee Diet EFM Epiphany Fall Fartlek Fat Man Fat Sick and Nearly Dead Frankfort Gadgets Gramma Grampa Gratitude Grete Waitz Guest HITT HIV Hell Holding Hands Holy Saturday Homer Horse Capital Marathon IVP Ice bath Jacuzzi James Taylor Jesus wept Joe Cross John Izzo Joy KY LaDonna Leg Day Lent Lessons Lexington Little Pennsy Mental hospital Midsummer Night's Run Mindfulness MobileFit Negative Splits Old Frankfort Pike Pilates Podrunner Pre-race Priorities RICE Railrunner 10 Miler Random thoughts Resurrection Reunion Run Bob Run Run Report Run Review Run for the Gold 3K Running Form Running for Sabrina STUPID Shakespeare Skip Brown Speed Spinning Summer Of Speed Sunrise Supersets Tao Te Ching Thank You The Wall Three Right Things Toxic Passenger UK UK basketball Urine Urologist Victory Walk of Shame Warrior Westminster Whole Foods Wind Words Zumba ace bandages addicted agony alwyn cosgrove america anger antibiotic anxiety awake back baseball blood clots blood pressure body glide bonhoeffer books brad calories chinup colonoscopy consistency crazy cycles dentures dip dr. google dumbbells elevation facebook failure farts feet fight for life fitness forgiveness frankenpennsy fun getting started glucosamine glutes goal gremlin grenz grumpy hair hamstrings hiccups high school hot ice incarnation indian food jogging john lennon joint legacy trail liniment lunges machines maker's mark medicine ball meds mercy motivation motley fool music nature neighborhood new balance nike noah numbers pennsyltuckian periodization persistence phlebitis postmodern prison professional boundaries progress psychiatrist pullups pushups quads ramble rememberance renewal road running ronnie coleman rowing safety sauna scan-ziety sexy shopping shorts shower sick sleepless snow socks spandex star trek statistics steam room steroids stiff strained muscle strap strength training supination support surgeon survive swackett swiss balls table technology tempo terry bradshaw testicular torsion text thai food that's fit the five thighs walk breaks warm up water fitness water jogging weak wedding ring wellness wife winter workout writing yardwork