Thursday, April 5, 2007
Silence is All
It is finished
The last word spoken
The last drop bled out
Jeers
Sobs
Now memories on that bloody hill
Filthy battle ground where
No matter the courage of the hero
The Victor
Is always
the
same
He amazed me
Giving me away
Like a favorite toy
She is yours/you are his
And the man
Barely more than a boy
Shamed me with his tears
Mine, so long dried out
Used up to water the roots of a promise
The once tender shoot
Broken and brown
Trodden into the mud and the spit and the sweat
Even the man/boy was empty now
Standing silently by
As they untangled the empty bag where my son had lived
From the thorny branch where the wind had blown him
Pierced him through
Held him fast
Everything had been arranged before hand
Bribes paid
Arrangements
The Man brought his people and they carried the husk
Empty
To a stranger's grave
Empty
Where they laid my boy
Troublesome
Beautiful
boy
The voice had said
Salvation
called me
blessed
Poor Joseph.
His eyes burned with courage and fear
that night
when he told me
He would stay
we crossed the world a hundred times
the four
Man Boy Woman Donkey
tiny boats thrown about
by the storms of kings
Nazareth
Bethlehem
Jerusalem
Egypt
always returning
but never home
never quite home again
lost him in the temple
lost
wandering the city like a madwoman
a boy?
Have I seen a boy?
Look around you woman.
Can you count all the boys in Jerusalem today?
found him
where he should have been
Where he loved to be
Joseph
silently working
hard tired hands aching
swollen
His great chest rising and falling in his sleep
then falling
and rising
no more
It is time,
I would tell him
A mother knows
I will know
He would answer
Now we both
know
They did their best,
but the filth remains
the blood
the soil
soaking through the linen
I can see his face
through the linen
why
why did you do
all
this
?
The boy/man touches my arm
time to put out the lamp
time to step out into the night air
if there is any
While they roll the stone into place
The only sound that ripples in the night
even the wind is
silent
then they go
eyes lowered
touch
nod
nothing left to say.
the man/boy waits
my new boy indulging his new mother
I am
so very
alone.
My heart is so full that it wants to scream
but silence
silence
silence
is all
I turn from the tomb
He offers his hand
I take it
should I believe?
or is he another man sent by God
to break my heart?
I want to hear the voice again.
My husband
My son
My angel
but no more voices
not for me
his words shot through me like an arrow
"It is finished"
so it is
no more songs from the handmaid of the lord
silence
silence
silence
is all
oh my beautiful child, my boy, my gentle gentle son
what would i give to hear your voice again
but he has forsaken
both of us
tonight the sword has pierced my heart
but death is not
merciful
to mothers
You have the silence of the tomb
the peace of the grave
the end of the pain
I am left alone
in the silence
the silence
the silence
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mrs p
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Hi, Pennsy. Very moving poem.
ReplyDeleteAndrea